BBoard

[nightwish]

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired.

Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee and caller needing help:

HL: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
DAU: "Yes, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect"
HL: "What sort of trouble?"
DAU: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
HL: "Went away?"
DAU: "They disappeared."
HL: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
DAU: "Nothing."
HL: "Nothing?"
DAU: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
HL: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
DAU: "How do I tell?"
HL: "Can you see the c:\prompt on the screen?"
DAU: "What's a sea prompt?"
HL: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
DAU: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
HL: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
DAU: "What's a monitor?"
HL: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
DAU: "I don't know."
HL: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
DAU: "Yes, I think so."
HL: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
DAU: "Yes, it is."
HL: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
DAU: "No."
HL: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
DAU: "Okay, here it is."
HL: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
DAU: "I can't reach."
HL: "Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?"
DAU: "No."
HL: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
DAU: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
HL: "Dark?"
DAU: "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
HL: "Well, turn on the office light then."
DAU: "I can't."
HL: "No? Why not?"
DAU: "Because there's a power outage."
HL: "A power....A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
DAU: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
HL: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought if from."
DAU: "Really? Is it that bad?"
HL: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
DAU: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
HL: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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